So I’ve been working on another piece for the blog here… but it’s stuck in a rut. It’ll get done, I promise, just not right now.
The problem that I find I always have is finishing a project. I get so many ideas, so many stories, so many blogs and so many pieces started that I can’t get through them all at once.
There is a novel that I started in 2005 I think. A collection of memories and stories about me and baseball that got rolling last winter. 2 zombie stories that I started in the last 6 months. A superhero gig that I got into a couple months ago as well. And then there’s this blog and the re-launch. There have been reviews and posts and Twitter updates and crack pipe ideas that come from all over the place. And I always think that this one is going to get done. This is the one that people are going to read and love and make me famous with.
I think what I need to do is be smart about this and decide that I don’t want to be famous. That can’t be the goal. It can’t be what drives me. And the reason is that it won’t happen if I never finish anything. I need to remember why I love to write. And that’s to get all of these ideas out of my head. To share with the world. To use the words and skills that I have amassed over time. And to empty my head. It gets so full sometimes.
And so I end up with days like today. I opened an already started word doc and stared at it. I think I added like 15 words today. That’s it. It was open for hours. Sigh.
And I end up with pieces like this. A bunch of words. A pack of thoughts. A lot of nothing. Sigh.
But you know what the great thing is? I get to write anyway. I get to express anyway. And while it might not seem like it too much, I get to bitch a little bit too. This is me bitching about my own inability to wrap one of these things up.
It’s my own fault. Nobody else’s. In fact, there have been people that have asked for more of the things that I have started. And while that felt really great, it didn’t make it any easier to write it.
I say that if I had somewhere to really sit and write it would be easier. If I had a desk and a chair it would be easier. If I had a computer and a light and an idea board it would be easier. If I had an ashtray and a coffee pot it would be easier. But the truth is that none of those things would make it easier. They may make it more convenient and they may even make it more pleasant. But not easier. Only focus is going to do that.
And that’s where you come in. I’m going to challenge you, good people of the internet, to kick me in the ass. You are challenged to challenge me to be better, to finish what I start and to bring new thoughts and ideas and stories to the world. This is our mission. Well really it’s my mission. I’m just asking for your help.
I went outside to smoke a few minutes ago and I was trying to figure out what I was going to call this post. What catchy title I was going to throw in the box to grab your attention. And what came to me is what you saw at the top. How many irons will fit in this fire? And then I started to wonder how many irons should fit in the fire? How many am I supposed to have at once? Am I doing things wrong? Am I committing sins by leaving stories and blogs and ideas in shoeboxes and drawers for years at a time?
These questions are rolling through my head right now and I don’t have the answers. If you do, let me know. They weren’t rhetorical. I’m hoping that there’s some sage advice hidden in your heads and hearts and keyboards. And I’m really hoping that you’ll pass some of it on to me. That would be awesome.
I understand that this has been a whole lot of ramble. It’s been up and down and east and west and in and out and here we are. Back where we started. With an unfinished blog sitting beside this one. 900 words and one big, long stream of thought in this box, and an idea that I was in love with yesterday in the next. Sigh.
I know that if there’s any good to come of this it will have to be due to my own effort. So here’s my plan. I’m not going to commit to fewer irons. But what I may do is pull a few out of the fire, set them aside and focus on the ones that are piping hot.
Maybe that way we can all win. Maybe that way we get to the quality stuff. The stuff that makes us smile and cry and laugh and stay up way past our bedtimes.
And maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll still get famous.
There is a novel that I started in 2005 I think. A collection of memories and stories about me and baseball that got rolling last winter. 2 zombie stories that I started in the last 6 months. A superhero gig that I got into a couple months ago as well. And then there’s this blog and the re-launch. There have been reviews and posts and Twitter updates and crack pipe ideas that come from all over the place.